id be glad to
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
