Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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