she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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