im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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