I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
