His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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