So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
