im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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