Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
