He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
