How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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