she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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