awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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