There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
