Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
