Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize