Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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