im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
