I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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