i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
