the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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