seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
