pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
