her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
