She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
