She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
