There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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