She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
