she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
