Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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