You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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