I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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