I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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