So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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