Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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