Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
