im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
are you so shy because you have an std?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
