Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
