like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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