You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
