that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think my fart just growled at me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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