I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
handjob tips. give me some.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
