Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
