Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
