we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
