Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
