i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I believe in your delicious
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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