I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I look excited, but its just a facade.
FUCK WHALES
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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