Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
do nipples grow back?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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