did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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