apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
