Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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