You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
