And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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