U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
