I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
