It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
