WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
