bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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