My room smells like vodka and shame
I've blown a few things in my day
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize