spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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