id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
