I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
