How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
