Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize